My ocean is treacherous, it is crazy. The waves are crashing wildly against my body. As if to say “no you can’t, don’t even try” But, I am brave. I fight back. I take a deep breath. I hope for calm. My ocean is dark, it is painful. I’m left with thoughts and emotions that are more painful than sting of the freezing water against my icey blue toes.
I feel so often that I’m drowning. Are the waves covering up my quiet cries for help? The whistle of the air stings. “I am alone” I whisper. And harsh wind picks up as if angry and scrapes across my body with torment.
The water hurdles me through the undertow and I am again lost in an undertow in a series of my own dark thoughts haunting me inside. The only comfort I have is that I am alone in this place. I nearly suffocate in this dark place where everything is a shade of grey and dark blue. This place, where pain is a form of anger and loneliness. I reach out….yearning to be saved from all the years of anguish, torment and pain.