Tick Tock

Sound off - One -two. Turn down the lights, drown out the sound, fade to black, surrender in the darkness. Escape from the pain wandering into mindless seduction. It is too much to live in a world dictated by pain, devoid of purpose. Tick tock, tick tock of the ever beating clock, Another moment past, … Continue reading Tick Tock


Today is

Today is my birthday. I'm 26 years old today. It's a day filled with "Happy Wishes" and "I Hope you have a..." A day filled with cards, gifts, and phone calls from loved ones. It's also a day spent in excruciating pain, a day spent turning off alarms reminding me of meds to be taken … Continue reading Today is

My being- and what it means to me when they say CRPS doesnt own them 

We often say crps doesn't own us but,  CRPS Is the monster under your bed.  It's the scary dream that keeps you up.  It's what no one talks about but you know, is there.  Crps beats you up when your down it punches you scathes you with burns of scolding grease and leaving you dead … Continue reading My being- and what it means to me when they say CRPS doesnt own them 


Most every moment is filled with excruciating pain. The kind that's angry and filled with rage. It's red and burning hot, it sears and it's stabbing. It's pulling and clenching every muscle tighter and tighter and bones fall in and out of place if I move the wrong way. My stomach is twisted so tight … Continue reading Moments

I’d like to say hello

I can see you staring at me.... it's fine, I don't mind. I know I look different. There's a bandage here with a tube coming out of there. I have wheels under my bum, that I can't even push. I wear a hat that covers all of my hair leaving to question... is there hair … Continue reading I’d like to say hello

Goodbye 2016

  Im a little different than everyone else. I can feel every sound aginst my skin as if the sound waves hug me with their pulsating beats. Its not really all that comforting though its unnerving, and feels like insects under your skin. But, the pain is worse, worse than everything. So when I try … Continue reading Goodbye 2016

Freezing Ocean of Pain

My ocean is treacherous, it is crazy. The waves are crashing wildly against my body. As if to say "no you can't, don't even try" But, I am brave. I fight back. I take a deep breath. I hope for calm. My ocean is dark, it is painful. I'm left with thoughts and emotions that are … Continue reading Freezing Ocean of Pain